- Love triangle
- Husband’s Look
- Girlfriend’s look
- Wife’s look
A man can be an apple of discord between friends – this is known to every girl from the youthful nails. We swear to each other in eternal friendship and devotion, but all this can collapse overnight, when love appears on the horizon. Particularly dramatic are the situations in which the girl took her husband from her best friend. From what does this happen and how to live with it?
Life is a complicated and long thing. You go to school, finish it, go to college, study for five years, then work, – and in parallel with it you get girlfriends and fall in love with men. Some friends stay with you for a long time and become close, and for one of the men you marry, you have children, and a new family is being formed. Such a scenario exists in one form or another in the life of each of us. However, it happens that the elements of this picture – the husband and any of your friends – are too close to each other. This can happen for a number of reasons:
- between spouses there is no love and understanding, and they are looked for on the side;
- dissatisfaction with married sex;
- the presence of something from a friend, which is very nice to her husband and is absent from his wife;
- lack of personal space for one or both spouses;
- new love;
- and many other reasons.
There are no absolute facts, somehow “in order to take away a husband, we need discord inside the family” or “a woman needs only to beckon a man with her finger” – all situations are individual. Is there something similar in them? Yes, and this is the emotion of all three sides. Let’s try to get into the position of each of the participants of such a difficult life drama.
There is a saying: “As a wolf, feed, he still looks into the forest.” It is very often used in discussing the characteristics of the male, especially such as the tendency to betrayal and polygamy. Of course, men tend to impregnate as many females as possible – this is a genetic and evolutionary program. However, any more or less civilized man is able to control his sexual instinct – otherwise he would have long been in prison for raping a sexually dressed woman. Accordingly, this phenomenon is important, but not determining the behavior of any husband.
This includes the manifestation of interest in sex with another woman. He often appears in cases when the husband had few sexual partners before his wife (and, maybe, she is even the only one), and he becomes interested in it – what if with other women everything is different? The saddest thing is the disappointment that comes with a man in the vast majority of cases: sex with a wife’s girlfriend is almost the same as sex with his wife, and the family is destroyed.
Sometimes the reason for leaving a husband for a friend is the presence of a special understanding between them. My wife constantly saws, curses, condemns interests and does not give a drop of personal space – which man will like it? Agree, this situation is observed in many families, and it is not surprising that husbands want to leave such wives.
Rarely, but it happens that the husband simply falls in love with another woman. And, to the annoyance of both, she is a friend of his wife. As a rule, in this situation they are tormented by deep doubts about the correctness of their actions, but they can not resist the power of love. And, probably, there is no need for it – all the same when people fall in love so seriously, it’s something, yes it means. For example, that they are created for each other and must together live the rest of their lives. And the wife of the husband and the husband of the girlfriend will someday also be able to find their real and more suitable halves.
And so the husband goes to his wife’s friend. He can be hated, but we must not forget that he is also not very easily at this moment: he has dramatically changed his life, destroyed the family (and if he left the family with the children, then he still had financial and moral obligations to them) this causes negative emotions both for him and for his surroundings. Friends, colleagues and relatives can turn away from him. Therefore, if you are in the role of an abandoned wife – do not try to further poison his life. She will put everything in its place.
The most important thing is, if possible, try to preserve decency and respect on both sides. The husband should not mud his ex-wife, and she – try to pierce the tires on his new car or tell the children about what he’s a scoundrel. Of course, the wife will be angry (and has every right to do so!), But in any situation it is better to remain a good person. In the end, you have much to spend your strength and time with greater benefit.
This role always causes the greatest amount of negativity on the part of the environment: the girlfriend is called “razluchnitsey” and in every way scolded. However, it is worth investigating – is the devil as terrible as he is painted? In the end, you spent a lot of time with this woman: they talked, consulted and supported each other. So, maybe she’s still not the devil in the flesh? As we already mentioned above, the reasons for leaving a man from a family can be very different. But why does a woman take her husband away from a friend? Yes, in fact, for the same reasons – love, understanding, the existence of common interests. But they are added to purely specific, women’s occasions.
Everything is clear in a situation where a wife’s girlfriend is lonely. She wants love, family, and she is also aware of all the features of your husband’s behavior in the conditions of family life (you have told her a lot about this topic?). She has time to decide – is she ready to put up with the faults of her friend’s husband? What are its advantages attracted to it? In the circumstances, she becomes like a spy, because she also knows that she annoys her beloved friend, but what he likes.
Agree, it is very difficult to maintain a good attitude towards such a person. It is rare that a girlfriend becomes a traitor overnight – this happens in those cases when she, of course, loves “deceived wife”, but the value of creating her family outweighs. But most of the time, in principle, it is prone to mean acts.
Sometimes the reason why a woman took her husband away from her best friend is a banal envy. From the situation described above, it is different that the husband in this case has no value. The main thing is to spoil the life of your “girlfriend” and deprive her of something important. Only then does she cease to feel miserable and defective. This friend and before the incident described had to show their worst qualities: constantly “pin up”, try to hurt and humiliate. It’s sad that after the husband leaves the family everyone becomes unhappy: he, and the deceived wife, and even a “razluchnitsa,” who generally have problems with self-esteem and the opportunity to be happy.
It’s a shame when the husband is taken away because of the desire to “shake”. Yes, there is such a category of needs! Some girls are overly artistic and like to arrange drama in life. They are bored when all is well and calmly – they behave like vampires, feeding on the energy of human suffering.
In this situation, the husband also does not have an independent value – he is only a pawn in the game of the “great dramatic actress”. Unfortunately, this type of women attracts men very much: they are, as a rule, beautiful, bright, feminine – in general, very, very attractive. After the destruction of the family, the husband and wife remain unhappy, and the girlfriend “actress” begins to look for a new victim.
But, as we have already said, a girlfriend is not always guided by negative motivations. Sometimes it happens that she falls in love with the man of her friend and makes a decision in favor of love, not friendship. This does not mean that she does not care about his wife – just a relationship with a man are more important (such is her hierarchy of life values).
If you are in the role of a girlfriend, “razluchnitsy”, then you can sympathize: it’s you now fly all the bumps and rush vicious glances of common acquaintances. This difficult period must somehow hold out if you want to maintain a relationship with your girlfriend’s ex-husband. The most important thing is to find the resources that will help you do this.
It must be something pleasant; for example, every night you can hug with your loved one, sit down in front of the TV screen and watch a movie that will please both of you. Or it may be something personally yours, for example, meditation or the repetition of life-affirming attitudes. In any case, learn to abstract from the negative impact of others and strengthen self-esteem.
The wife is rightfully considered the most affected and weak link in the scheme “a friend took her husband out of the family,” because she was deceived by two of the closest people. But is this an absolute and immutable fact? No! Ironically, some wives later rejoice that a friend took their husband away. Why is this happening?
- This man was not her second half
The family climate was characterized by cold and storms: constant quibbles, quarrels, lack of common interests and values, love and respect – sometimes this is due to the fact that people simply do not fit together. After a divorce, such a woman meets a new man and – oh, a miracle! – in relations with him, harmony and mutual understanding prevails. In such cases, “deceived wife” even happens to be grateful to fate for the fact that it all happened.
- Getting Rid of Suffering
Not everyone believes in the theory of halves, but everyone knows that family life is very difficult and difficult. Some people do not talk to each other for years for in a friendly manner, which is why they themselves suffer, but they do not dare to break this vicious circle – yet the divorce in our culture is very condemned. And when a third “superfluous” interferes in their relations, they are very grateful to him, because now there is someone to blame responsibility for what is happening to them.
- Withdrawing pink glasses
Sometimes we are very naive and admit to ourselves those people who should not be allowed to admit, and we trust them unconditionally, without noticing negative signals. In this case, leaving a husband from the family may be similar to an exploding bomb. First, the wife is in shock and does not understand how this could happen. But then, provided that she has a mature life position, she realizes that she has opened her eyes to those people who were around. And it’s very cool that they are leaving her life, because such unreliable people do not need anyone.
Unfortunately, it does not always happen: often it is very difficult to find advantages in the current situation, especially when you are hurt and hurt. It happens that with your husband you had an excellent relationship, and with a friend – a strong friendship. And suddenly these two close people betray you. What to do in this situation?
First, you have to go through pain. Yes, at first it will be very bad, and at this time the support of people close to you will be very helpful. Do not hesitate to ask for it, because your family understands everything. If for some reason you can not get support (for example, you are in another city, away from parents and friends), then consult the Internet. At any women’s forum, you can get sympathy and learn from a dozen sadistic ways how to hurt traitors.
But try to hold back the idea of revenge if she visits you. Revenge destroys us from within and does not bring satisfaction – only emptiness (except in rare cases). Although no one forbids you to break all photos with scoundrels or destroy a couple of their favorite things that you have left. Sometimes it is necessary to throw out anger and negative energy – just get to stop in time.
Secondly, when the pain begins to subside, the ability to self-analysis may turn on. And here the main thing is to keep from feeling guilty for what happened. Many women begin to reproach themselves: “I was a bad wife,” “I did not wash his socks,” “I did not play paintball with him,” etc. … In analyzing your mistakes for the future, there is nothing wrong – it’s bad when you begin to blame yourself for what happened and try to take all responsibility on your fragile shoulders. But in divorce, almost always two people are to blame! Therefore, if you can not give up guilt, stop introspection and wait a little. It is quite possible that quite soon you will be able to soberly assess your actions and use this knowledge to avoid such mistakes in the future.
Third, fill the void left after the departure of your ex-husband and girlfriend. This is the most difficult for many unmarried women. Earlier half of your life was spent on caring for your husband, a quarter – for sleep and another quarter – to communicate with your girlfriend. But now it’s time for a change! Find a new job (or even find a job, if you were a housewife – the benefit now is a lot of opportunities, for example, work through the Internet).
Sign up for a dance class – this will help you raise your self-esteem (which is sure to have suffered after such an event). Remember your old dreams and friends, finally give them time, and you will understand that with divorce, life has just begun!
Relations between people can be arbitrarily intricate, and no wonder that in these wilds there are disagreements, misunderstandings, betrayals and even betrayal. We can not condemn either side, because everything in life happens. In addition, everyone has his own truth with which he lives. It remains only to hope that life will put everything in order, and all participants in these dramatic events will be happy and happy.
We advise you to read: I sleep with my best friend’s husband