Men’s betrayal is something that worries the female sex a long time ago, and something that we will never be able to get used to. Our husbands manage to make mistresses, even if the relationship in the family is in order. Well, why would a man have another woman then? After all, he and his wife are two halves. And the place for the third part here just can not be! Nevertheless, it appears. Why? Why does a man have a mistress, if he has a wife?
Is it sensible for a man to have a mistress?
Really – if so to understand, what for to the men the mistress? After all, to start it, while having a family, any of the representatives of the stronger sex is simply unprofitable. And from a material, and from a psychological point of view. In fact, this is nothing more than excessive monetary costs and a headache. Why? Yes, because instead of quietly to yourself to come home, have supper and fall over on your favorite couch, a man, making himself a trouble, goes to his mistress. And let him even excellently spend time with her, which differs significantly from the usual rubbing of the sofa. Anyway, then it is necessary to invent excuses before the spouse, gradually losing both patience and confidence in him.
It’s good if the wife is not very jealous and suspicious. A mistress is intelligent and patient. But it often happens the other way around! And then just hold on, the wrong husband and the lover who promises everything in the world! We will have to fight off both, and from the other, and bear significant losses at the same time. So? So. Female attacks in general are very difficult to maintain, and when they are directed from two sides – and even more so. The situation is awful. Each of the men, intending to acquire a mistress, can assume her appearance. And he assumes if he is not quite a fool. But it still climbs into the trap.
Well, that’s why? Because of sex drive? So for this it is better to enter into short-term, non-binding ties. Nobody will reproach you in anything, no one will demand anything. Came, got his, left. Without mutual obligations and eternal tension because of what the wife learns about it. And to have a permanent woman, not only for sex, is more expensive. Sooner or later she will set out to claim the full possession of a man. And then write was gone. The end of the idyll.
In a word, it’s unreasonable to acquire a permanent mistress of a married member of the stronger sex. If you really want to meet regularly with a woman, it’s better to divorce your wife first. Is it logical? Still would. However, if there were logic in the relationship between men and women, then most likely, there would be no relations either. After all, as a matter of fact, we for all time of existence side by side learned basically only virtuously nerves to tingle each other. And if we still strive for this irresistibly, then there is no logic in gender relations. Nevertheless, we will try to find at least some rational explanation for why a man gets a mistress. At least for the desire to understand. So that later, if this happens in our family, you could forgive. Or do not forgive.
Why do men have permanent mistresses?
In principle, the reasons for the appearance of a man a constant mistress is many. We will not list them. About this has already been written and rewritten hundreds of times, why repeat it? Let’s talk not about the notorious male polygamy and not about the fact that “ah, in the family there is no mutual understanding and normal sex, therefore …”. Similar explanations of infidelity, by and large, are nothing more than attempts to fit the problem under some primitive scheme. In fact, not all muzhiks are outright males, and not all of them will dream of a mistress if his wife does not have mutual understanding.
Some of those who have managed to become lovers, are sure that the man will not go to the left, having an excellent wife. Alas, this is not so. No matter how perfect a woman is in every respect, she is not insured against the betrayal of her spouse. And again, not because “all the peasants in one world are smeared.” Just life, and with it people, is diverse. Human feelings are subject to changes and are like a swing – up and down, up and down. In a rare family, this does not happen. And sometimes, even in well-to-do homes, bad weather happens. The depth of relations tightens the clouds, thunder rumbles, lightning flashes, icy rain pours …
A woman in this case can take shelter from a shower under an umbrella of household concerns. Anyway, her task is to preserve the hearth, and she has to protect it, even if it’s winter at heart. A man is proud of himself, and when he is not called under an umbrella, he will not be asked there. He becomes wet, freezes, and eventually goes to look for a place where you can warm up. And, of course, he finds. Always there will be a lonely lady, ready to receive, dry and caress the tired traveler. All. Done. Treason is evident.
Well, well, we say. If there was a scandal in the house that pushed the man into the arms of another, it can still be understood. The wife could not make concessions in time, her husband wanted a human heat, and then – a lonely, understanding, sympathetic woman. She does not ask for anything, she does not expect anything from him, she will always listen and reassure. Such a mistress is a man for refuge in which he hides during family storms. But in fact often husbands change and when in the house scandals are short-lived and are quite rare! They go to the left, even if the wife is attractive, caring, intelligent. Why?
This is the other side of male betrayals. The reason for it usually lies in the man’s inclination to idealize women. Representatives of the stronger sex, dreaming of a beautiful lady, even in our pragmatic time is not so little. Such a craving for the ideal is formed even in early childhood, and later men unconsciously seek to it almost all their lives. Having met the one who later becomes a wife, they initially see in it almost the crown of creation. However, family life radically changes this idea. Once the husband realizes that his wife is an ordinary person. And she lives, not “breathing spirits and fogs”, but just like everyone else, she eats, sleeps and needs physiological needs.
The one who dreams of perfection, such an opening is disappointing. If there is a “beautiful stranger” nearby, she may well become a mistress. And, as a rule, it becomes. It seems to the man that now he really found the ideal. Still would! After all, he is not aware of all the intimate details of this woman’s life. By the time the lady carefully prepares, she does not even stutter about domestic problems, she does not jump in front of him in an old dressing-gown. An unearthly creature, and only! So the idealist will perceive the mistress until she realizes that nothing human is alien to her either. Then he again becomes disappointed and again begins to look for a beautiful lady.
I must say that this type of male betrayal occurs quite often. And if a woman has got a woman who is a seeker of a beautiful lady, she will have a hard time. For the faithful not to be disappointed, one must be in everything perfect. In principle, if you really try, it’s possible. But you can not, if you live under the same roof, always remain an angel in the flesh! Anyway, sooner or later, something human will manifest. And who knows, what after that the spouse will throw out. Maybe it’s just going to be locked up in itself, or maybe it’s going to look for an ideal. Unknown.
Okay. Why do men have a beautiful mistress, we sort of figured out. But it also happens that the other woman is outwardly much inferior to his wife! Then where is the dog buried? Traditionally, family relationships imply that the husband in them is the breadwinner, protector, patron. And any normal man is aware of this and tries to meet such requirements. And it is not always possible to match. That money is not enough, then the career collapses, then there is no way to solve a problem. A man ceases to feel his importance, even if the wife does not especially saw him and tries to treat everything with understanding. Because he feels guilty about what’s going on.
And then suddenly a man appears near the man who looks at him with adoration and literally worships. She does not make any claims to him, does not commit to anything, is enthusiastic about every act … Well, how can one not become attached to such a person? A lady like that is like an antidepressant. Near her, the man is calm. Here he dives from time to time in the hospitable burrow of his mistress, who is always happy with his hero. And here it is completely unimportant, it is better outwardly than the wife or worse. The main thing is that the man is revered.
No, of course, very often men start lovers because they are just fresh and young, because conjugal sex does not satisfy, because the home environment is too hot – and so on. About such adultery has already been repeatedly said, and the reasons for it are clear and banal. For us, it is not quite clear what else: why, having a permanent lover for a long time, do men rarely divorce their spouses?
Why do men who have a mistress do not get divorced from his wife?
Oh, how often happens when a married man’s mistress is sure that sooner or later he will leave his family and move to her for good! Because “his wife does not understand, does not appreciate, but I understand and we have love”, “the wife is fat and ugly, but I’m young and sexy”, “everything is bad with his wife, but he’s good with me,” and so Further. However, time passes, and the favorite for some reason does not throw the one that “does not understand him,” and does not get divorced from “fat and old.” And it still does not dare to break off relations with an unknowingly scandalous wife.
And this happens not only when the husband and wife are bound by a stamp in their passport, but also if they live in a civil marriage. Already here, it would seem, what holds? Collected things and went to an understanding, sexy, young woman. But it does not go away. And he continues to fool his wife and his mistress. What are the reasons for this behavior of our dear representatives of the stronger sex?
In principle, there are cases when a man really throws a wife for the sake of a mistress. But still it happens quite rarely and mostly when the situation in the family is really very bad. If she is still tolerant, then the man, most likely, to break with his wife will not go. And while this will assure another woman that the divorce is about to take place. Or that he can not leave his family for now, because children need him, without him some problems will not be solved, he does not want to upset his parents and so on.
In fact, any sane man understands that a lover attracts, while she is a lady at a distance. And she realizes that she will become a wife, it is still unknown what he will see before him. It is likely that understanding and humility will turn into quarrelsomeness and exactingness, beauty will be the result of skillfully imposed make-up, and adoration is the skillful pretense of a person who has become brutalized from loneliness.
But even if a man has already studied his mistress well enough, knows what she really is and that he likes, leaving a family for him is still problematic. Why? Yes, simply because the house is a home. Everything is familiar there, you can walk in worn-out slippers and drunken workouts, you can sit for two hours in the toilet and champ at the table … There you can be yourself. And here it is necessary to behave in accordance with the one for whom you are being received.
No, it happens that the mistress has already thoroughly studied the habits of a man and is ready to accept it with all the shortcomings. However, all the same, the family is the warmth of a real fire in the hearth, and communication with another woman is analogous to the heat of an electric fireplace. Whatever one may say, a mistress is just a surrogate of happiness, which the man hoped to find in his marriage. He put a lot of effort into it, he tried, created something. And to begin again all over again simply is afraid, – and suddenly the same will leave? Why change the awl for soap?
In general, for most men, communication with a mistress is a sphere where there are no special obligations. Mistress will not send a message: “Buy bread on the way home.” She will write: “I miss you so much! So I love! “. In the family, some help is expected from the man. Mistress needs only his presence. But the fact that close people need help, and binds a stronger sex to the family is stronger! After all, we love the one we care about more than the one who cares about us!
Many women who have fallen into the ranks of lovers are sure that the main thing is for a man to divorce his wife. And then everything will go like clockwork. He will belong only to his beloved, and they will live together long and happily. It is not that simple. In fact, most of those who left the family because of their mistress, soon begin to yearn for his former home. Men get used to it, and too fast transition from one woman to another makes you change your habits quickly. To a strong sex such a sudden metamorphosis is unusual. Men are very attached to their habits. No, they can give up some of their habits. But this takes time. And here – an instant transition from one situation to another. But should it be? There is something to ponder …
Do not give up wives because of their mistresses also because men are usually owners. Even one realization that someone else will take his place, can keep an unfaithful husband from the last step. The spouse should belong only to him, and the point! How is it – her body will caress someone else’s muzhik? No, better let the wife is next. It will be calmer on the soul …
Such here they are, our men. Complicated, vulnerable, selfish and sometimes naive, like children. They really want to always feel demanded, necessary, significant, authoritative, desired. And wives, unfortunately, often overlook these facts. But they successfully use mistresses. That’s why someone’s husband is attached to another woman, sometimes even not wanting it. And then there is a love triangle, along the perimeter of which three run. And no one can catch up with anyone.
We advise you to read: Is it necessary to be the mistress of a married man?