- A simple check of your readiness
- Useful tips for those who start a joint life
You began to think about the question, whether to come together or not with your young man. But you are frightened by the fact that a joint life will destroy the romanticism of your relationship? This is not quite true. Living side by side can, of course, turn into hell, but it is also able to bring the relationship to a new, higher level. Such a decision is a demonstration of the maturity of your thoughts and feelings, the readiness for the next stage in love, the pursuit of permanence. After all, living with a young man for even two months will help to determine whether you need to think about marriage, or better to part, until it’s too late.
The main thing in this matter is not to force events, but to gather only when you feel that you are ready for it. Only under such conditions will life bring pleasure together, and not bring disappointment and pain of the first mistakes. After all, it often happens that the young couple in love hastens to move to the common shelter as quickly as possible, and after one or two weeks there is no trace of their relationship.
And the girl, rounding her eyes in horror, tells her friends about how much she upset her chosen one. Therefore, it is necessary to come together for a living together with a loved one under one roof only after your relationship has acquired a certain permanence, become stable. And in order to make sure of their readiness for life together, you can pass a small test for liveliness and the ability to compromise.
A simple check of your readiness
First, you need to make a list, honestly answer the questions, and if at least five points in it coincide, start looking for a place to live together; but do not be in a hurry. It can also happen that you and your partner have perfect compatibility. In this case, all ten points will coincide – then discard all doubts and come together, without hesitation! So, here are the main moments of the relationship, indicating that you are both ready for living together and knowingly thinking about a possible marriage.
- A young man saw you without makeup, sick, unwashed or in the morning after a corporate party, but did not cool down, did not run away, and, waking up, kisses and hugs you? This is very good, because this behavior speaks of true love, which is alive even when you do not have a hair and makeup. After all, do not forget that people do not always have the opportunity to look at all one hundred percent, they are prone to catch a cold or suffer from indigestion. And in such cases, the care of a loved one is very important – his attention and love are treated better than any medications.
- He wants to spend all his free time with you. Yes, and you really want it. Excellent, because this is evidence that your relationship develops in harmony and not only in sexual, but also in spiritual terms. You can make a cautious conclusion: living together will only strengthen your feelings, and the romance of them will not disappear anywhere.
- You have already discussed the life together and distributed your responsibilities around the house. If this conversation has not happened yet, it needs to be arranged to check whether your views on the roles of husband and wife coincide. It is better to give the conversation a playful tone. If there are serious differences, you should try to find a compromise even before the start of cohabitation.
- You like to go out together to visit, to restaurants, to some events, but you are never bored and alone with each other. Unfortunately, many young couples can not boast of this. Often, left alone, they do not know what to talk about at all. In this case, starting a joint life is meaningless – it seems that in this case only sex binds. A strong marriage on this not build.
- You know all the shortcomings (well, or most of them) of your beloved man and look at them favorably. After all, a person with whom one has to live together must be perceived as he is, and not try to completely remake or place high hopes on the fact that he will change in the future. Otherwise, joint life will turn into a continuous series of military operations.
- You dream of a family relationship with your young man and want to cook him delicious dinners, wash dishes, wash and iron shirts. And this does not frighten you at all. If you try not to think about it, hoping that everything will be arranged somehow by itself, then you are not ready for a life together.
- You discussed with him all aspects of the financial issue and how much each of you will give to the family budget, and agreed. You can safely come together, because everyday problems you almost do not fear. In any case, all disagreements on these points can be resolved in the process of living together.
- Your beloved man has already made an offer and invites you to take a walk in the registry office, however, you plan not to hurry and act differently: in order to test your feelings, you are offering to live without a passport record. Well, this is a reasonable and well-considered decision. However, do not postpone the marriage for a long time, because your man may like this appearance of freedom, and next time he will not rush to offer to go to the registry office.
- You have a living space on which you can live only together, or both earn enough to afford to rent an apartment. In the event that the individual housing is absent and it is necessary to settle with somebody’s parents or relatives, it is necessary to think carefully whether we are prepared to tolerate the presence of mother, father, grandmother, sister, brother, and so on. If not, then it is better not to move in. At first, you and the two of you will find the reasons for misunderstanding and quarrels, so it’s completely useless to live next to “additional sources of irritation”.
- The most basic sign of willingness to live together is your happy “Yes !!!” in response to his offer to live under one roof. So you want this with all your heart and therefore are completely unable to control your feelings. Well, come with a sincere hope and the belief that you are waiting for happy days. It is possible that these feelings will really help you in such a difficult matter, and soon you will enter into a legal marriage.
Useful tips for those who start a joint life
All stages of life under one roof of a young couple in love should have a feeling of sincere respect for each other. It is important to remember that each of you has your own interests, certain desires, personal freedom and character traits. Do not count on the fact that with the beginning of a joint life a young man will quickly rearrange and begin to live only by your interests.
Before you expect such behavior from him and be offended, if this did not happen, ask yourself about your own readiness to forget about meetings with your friends, sitting in cafes after work and shopping for a weekend. Complicated? So why do you think that a guy is obliged to unquestioningly give up his interests, devoting his time and attention to you only one? So if you start to stage scenes every time you try to meet your friends, nothing good will come of living together. The young man either has to learn to lie to you, or silently act in his own way, causing your indignation and deliberately going into conflict.
At some point in your life with a loved one you can experience the feeling of being alone with yourself. At a time when you lived alone, these feelings did not visit you. Of course, you could have coffee before, enjoying the silence or your favorite movie, take a leisurely make-up before the mirror, wash it off, if you did not like it, and repeat the procedure again, lie down with the book and so on. That is, you had a lot of time for classes that involve a certain amount of loneliness. Therefore, do not deprive each other of the opportunity to enjoy peace and do personal things.
It is also important to remember that living together is not a reason to forget about your own appearance. Do not wear old stretched things as home clothes, still watch your own appearance, otherwise you risk unpleasant surprise to the chosen one. A huge number of marriages are beginning to crumble precisely because the young women who became wives, suddenly become incomprehensibly transformed from graceful beauties into swollen ladies of indefinite age. I wonder how many men will be pleased with this prospect? Therefore, try to always look neat and presentable in the eyes of a loved one.
And in conclusion it should be noted: if you decide to come with your young man, following the example of your girlfriends, or the relationship with him began to deteriorate and you try to fix something in this way, then this is obviously a bad idea. To the good such decision hardly will result. You should not hurry with cohabitation and in the event that you are simply tired of sharing living space with relatives or a young man who is not very nice to you, there is a nice apartment. Nothing good will come of it either.
We advise you to read: how to get out of a love triangle